LinkExchange Member

THE CANDY SEX STORY

It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr. Goodbar. I saw Miss Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "hey Sweetheart, how'd you like to Krunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like Pure Almond Joy! I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the Snicker and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I was into M&M, but I said, "hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take my Whatchamacallit and slip it up your Bit 'O' Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy Fruit she was, too!) She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the Three Musketeers!" as I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good 'N' Plenty, when all the sudden...my Starburst! Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, nine months later, out popped...........Baby Ruth!

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty At The Office but Aren't...

10. I need to whip it out by 5.
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Just stick it in my box.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!!!
5. HMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid!
4. My equipment is so old, it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there

Major, At Ease

An Army Sergeant Major walks into a whorehouse and approaches the madam and says, " My name is Sergeant Major Dick and I'm here for a woman!". The madam immediately escorts the soldier upstairs and selects the best call girl they have for him.

Sergeant Major Dick immediately disrobes and is standing with his hands on his hips while he looks at the prostitute awaiting him on the bed. He then says," My name is Sgt. Major Dick, been in the Army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, ATTEN-HUN. Immediately, his penis becomes fully erect.

The prostitute is in awe and asks him how he can do that.
The Sgt. Major replies, "Like I said, I've been in the Army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, AT EASE. His penis immediately goes limp.
The prostitute still can't get over the control he has and asks him for another demonstration. The Sgt. Major says. 'I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, ATTEN-HUN. (a raging hard-on once again) and the follows this display of prowess with the command of DICK, AT EASE. (His penis goes limp once again.)

The prostitute still can't believe her eyes and asks for the demonstration yet again. The Sgt. Major shouts, "I've already told you honey, I've been in the Army thirty years, and I'm a master of my mind and body, DICK, ATTEN-HUN. (His penis becomes immediately erect. And then gives the following command, "DICK, AT EASE.

The Sgt. Major looks down, and to his amazement, his penis is still hard. He then says, "apparently you didn't hear me soldier, DICK, AT EASE. Once again, his penis is still fully erect. The Sgt. Major is now fuming, and says, "I'm going to tell you one more time, DICK, AT EASE. No luck, his penis is still hard.

He yells god dammit and moves to the side of the bed and starts to masturbate vigorously. The prostitute asks '"What the hell is going on?" The Sgt. Major replies, "This soldier disobeyed a direct order, and I'm giving him a dishonorable discharge!!!

POSSIBLE SLOGANS PROMOTING NATIONAL CONDOM WEEK

1. Cover your stump before you hump
2. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
3. Don't be silly, protect your willy
4. When in doubt, shroud your spout
5. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
6. You can't go wrong if you shield your dong
7. If you're not going to sack it, go home and whack it
8. If you think she's spunky, cover your monkey
9. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
10. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
11. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
12. If you go into heat, package your meat
13. While you're undressing venus, dress up your penis
14. When you take off her pants and blouse, slip up your trouser mouse
15. Especially in December, gift wrap your member
16. Never, never deck her with an unwrapped pecker
17. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
18. The right selection will protect your erection
19. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
20. A crank with armor will never harm her
21. No glove, no love!

Corporate Condoms

Nike Condoms: Just do it.
Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling.
Diet Pepsi Condoms: You got the right one, baby.
Pringles Condoms: Once you pop, you can't stop.
Mentos Condoms: The freshmaker.
Flintstones Vitamins Condom: Ten million strong and growing.
Secret Condoms: Strong enough for a man, but pH balanced for a woman.
Macintosh Condom: It does more, it costs less, it's that simple.
Ford Condoms: The best never rest.
Chevy Condoms: Like a rock.
Dial Condoms: Aren't you glad you use it? Don't you wish everybody did?
New York Lotto Condoms: Cause hey - you never know.
California Lotto Condoms: Who's next?
Avis Condoms: Trying harder than ever.
KFC Condoms: Finger-Licking Good.
Coca Cola Condoms: Always the Real Thing.
Lays Condoms: Betcha can't have just one.
Campbell's Soup Condoms: Mmm, mmm, good.
General Electric Condoms: We bring good things to life!
AT&T Condoms: Reach out and touch someone.
Bounty Condoms: The quicker picker upper.
Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today ?
Energizer Condoms: It keeps going and going and going....
M&M Condoms: It melts in your mouth, not in your hands!
Taco Bell Condoms: Get some; make a run for the border.
MCI Condoms: For friends and family
Doublemint Condoms: Double your pleasure, double your fun!
The Sears latex Condoms: One coat is good for the entire winter.
Delta Airlines travel pack Condoms: Delta is ready when you are.
United Airlines travel pack Condoms: Fly United.
The Star Trek Condoms: To Boldly Go Where No Man Has Gone Before.

"The Gift"

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetheart's birthday, and as they had not been dating very long, after careful consideration, he decided a pair of gloves would strike the right note: romantic, but not too personal. Accompanied by his sweetheart's younger sister, he went to Nordstrom and bought a pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for herself. During the wrapping, the clerk mixed up the items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart got the panties. Withou checking the contents, the young man sealed the package and sent it to his sweetheart with the following note:

"I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing any when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I would have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears short ones that are easier to remove.

"These are a delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and they were hardly soiled. I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart.

"I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt other hands will come in contact with them before I have a chance to see you again.

"When you take them off, remember to blow in them before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

"Just think how many times I will kiss them during the coming year. I hope you will wear them for me on Friday night. All my love.

"P.S. The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur showing."

Did you ever stop to wonder what would happen if your dog's name was Mypenis:

- Mypenis ate my homework.
- Oh, no! Mypenis is frothing at the mouth!
- Sorry I'm late. I was playing with Mypenis.
- I'm sorry, Officer. I didn't realize I had to keep Mypenis on a leash.
- Mypenis doesn't come when I call it.
- Mypenis likes to crawl between the legs of guests.
- I love giving Mypenis a bath.
- At night, I sleep with Mypenis in my hands.
- Mypenis likes it when people pet him.
- Mypenis needs to get more exercise. He weighs over fifty pounds.
- Playing with Mypenis really wears me out.
- Would you like to see a picture of Mypenis?
- Sometimes I wake up, and Mypenis is already active.
- I think Mypenis has a mind of its own.
- I keep a picture of Mypenis in my wallet.
- Whenever I get lost, Mypenis points me in the right direction.
- I think Mypenis is getting old because he won't get excited anymore. He just plays dead.
- Mypenis got out last night. I think he's sleeping with the lady next door.
- If Mypenis was a weinerdog, he would be long and hairy and hard to carry.
- Mypenis loves to chase pussies in dark alleys.
- Help! I can't find Mypenis!
- Sorry to be driving so slow, officer, but I was looking for Mypenis.
- Mypenis gets excited whenever the mailman comes.
- Sorry to be driving so fast, officer - I have to take Mypenis to the hospital.
- Oh. no! Something bit Mypenis!
- Watch it or you'll step on Mypenis.
- When Mypenis behaves well, he gets a bone.
- Stop kicking Mypenis.
- When riding in the car, Mypenis enjoys sticking his head out to be blown.
- Mypenis is truly man's best friend.
- Beware of Mypenis. He's carrying a disease.
- People say Mypenis looks cute lying down, but even better when standing at attention.
- Mypenis: the crotch-sniffer.
- There's nothing like a well-trained bitch for Mypenis.
- I've trained Mypenis to jump through hoops.
- Mypenis always searches for an open hand under the dinner table.
- Excuse me - I need a muzzle for Mypenis.

Pregnant On Bus

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused. She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was as asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was:

When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."

Penguin's Road Trip

A penguin is taking a road trip when his car suddenly breaks down. Luckily for him, he finds himself just down the street from a mechanic. He pushes his car to the shop and asks the mechanic to take a look. The mechanic tells him that it will probably take a little while to find the problem and asks him to come back in an hour.

The penguin goes over to the supermarket, buys some frozen fish sticks and some vanilla ice cream for lunch, and spends the rest of the hour hanging out in the frozen foods section.

After the hour is up, he waddles over to the mechanic's shop. Seeing him come in, the mechanic walks over, and wiping his hands on a rag he says, "Looks like you've blown a seal." The penguin blushes, wipes his beak with his flipper and says, "No, it's just vanilla ice cream."

MY FIRST TIME

The Moon was full,
The night stood still,
I walked to her
And felt the night's cold chill.
I looked in her eye,
And held her in my arms,
I was ready for her now,
Ready for her golden charm.
I loved her a lot,
And I cared so much,
It seemed like she
Was much more than a crush.
I knew it was time,
So I took off my shirt,
I touched her soft breast,
And saw the white soft squirt.
I had a good time,
During that passionate night,
The rest I can't tell,
But do it again, I might.
It was my first time,
It's all over now,
It was my first time...
MILKING A COW.

Joe's Boat Sank

Twin bother were named Joe and John. Joe was the owner of an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the street, mistaking him for John.
She said to him, "I'm sorry for your great loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe said, "Oh, hell no. Face is I'm sorta glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten old thing from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing her water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front, too. The hole got bigger every time I used her, she leaked like crazy and it got to be too hard to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was these four tough guys who rented her for a good time. I warned them that she wasn't any good, but they all wanted to hava go with her anyway. The damned fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too much for the old girl. While they were trying to get into their various postions, she split right up the middle!" The old woman fainted.

Horse Race at Tydall Beach

Horses in race are:
1. Passionate Lady .......6. Clean Sheets
2. Bare Belly ..............7. Thighs
3. Silk Panties .............8. Big Dick
4. Conscience .............9. Heavy Bosom
5. Jockey Shorts .........10. Merry Cherry

At the Post

They're off! Conscience if left behind at the post. Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry. Heavy Bosom is being pressured. Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs and Big Dick is in a very dangerous spot.

At the Halfway Mark It's Bare Belly on top. Thighs open and Big Dick is pressed in. Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets. Passionate Lady and Thighs are working on Bare Belly. Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Dick.

At the Stretch Merry Cherry cracks under strain. Big Dick is making a final drive. Bare Belly is in and Passionate Lady is coming.

At the Finish Its Big Dick giving everything he's got and Passionate Lady takes everything Big Dick has to offer. It looks like a dead heat but Big Dick comes through with one final squirt and wins by a head. Bare Belly shows. Heavy Bosom weakens and Thighs pull up, Clean Sheets never had a chance.

Woman's Property

One evening, after attending the theatre, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, I'd give $250.00 to spend the night with that woman." Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I'll take you up on that offer." She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night,the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment.

The following morning the man presented her with $125.00 as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating "If you don't give me the other $125.00, I'll sue you for it." He laughed, saying "I'd like to see you get it on these grounds."

The next day he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case. His lawyer said "She can't possibly get a judgement against you on such grounds, but it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented."

After the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed the court as follows: "Your honour, my client, this lady, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot, surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified length of time for the sum of $250.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purposes for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises, he paid only $125.00, one-half of the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is restricted property, and we ask judgement be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance."

The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused by the way his opponent had presented the case. His defence, therefore was somewhat different from the way he originally planned to present it. "Your honour," he said, "My client agrees that the lady has a fine piece of property, that he did rent such property for a time, and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump, all labour performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount, and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of said property. We, therefore, ask that judgement not be granted."

The young lady's lawyer answered thusly "Your honour, my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on her property. However, had the defendant not known that the well existed, he would never have rented the property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making the property much less desirable to others. We, therefore, ask that judgement be granted."

In the Judges decision, he provided for two options "pay the $125.00 or have the equipment detached and provided to the plaintiff for damages." The defendant wrote a cheque immediately!

Jack and Jill

A small business owner was faced with the problem that he needed to downsize his company. He added up all the reciepts and discovered he could get by byfiring one of his employees. He looked in his files and discovered that he had two new employees, one named Jill, and the other named Jack. Because they had started on the same day at the same time, he wonderedhow he would make the decision on who to fire. Finally he decided that thefirst one he saw taking a break he would fire. About ten minutes later he saw Jill leaning against the wall next to the water cooler. He left his office and walked over to her with a serious look on his face. He turned to her and said, "Jill, I have some rather bad news. It seems as though I'm going to either have to lay you or Jack off," Jill looked at her employer and said, "Well, you're going to have to jack off. I have a headache.

Cigarettes

Two old ladies (Rachel and Alicia),were waiting for a bus and Alicia was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse and pulled out a condom, cut off the tip and slipped it over her cigarette and continued to smoke.
Her friend, Rachel, saw this and said, "Hey, now that's a good idea! What is that you're putting over your cigarette?"
The other old lady, Alicia, said, "It's a condom."
"A condom? Where do you get those?" Alicia told her that she could purchase them at a pharmacy.
When the two old ladies arrived downtown, Rachel went into the pharmacy and asked the pharmacist if he sold condoms. The pharmacist said yes, but looked a little surprised that this little old lady was interested in condoms. He asked her, "what size do you want?" Rachel thought for a moment and said, "one that will fit a Camel."

WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX

1) You can GET chocolate.
2) "If you love me you'll swallow that" has real meaning with chocolate.
3) Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
4) You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
5) You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
6) You can have chocolate even in front of your mother.
7) If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won't mind.
8) Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names.
9) The word "commitment" doesn't scare off chocolate.
10) You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting your co-workers.
11) You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped.
12) You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate.
13) With chocolate there's no need to fake it.
14) Chocolate doesn't make you pregnant.
15) You can have chocolate at any time of the month.
16) Good chocolate is easy to find.
17) You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle.
18) You are never too young or too old for chocolate.
19) When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake.
20) With chocolate size doesn't matter.

THINGS THAT SOUND DIRTY AT THANKSGIVING BUT AREN'T!

10. "Reach in and grab the giblets."
9. "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"
8. "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"
7. "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."
6. "Talk about a HUGE breast!"
5. "And he forces his way into the end zone!"
4. "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."
3. "It's cool whip time!"
2. "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"
..... and the number one thing that sounds dirty at Thanksgiving but isn't.....
1. "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

Top Ten Things That Sound Dirty In Law But Aren't

10. Have you looked through her briefs?
9. He is one hard judge!
8. Counselor, let's do it in chambers.
7. His attorney withdrew at the last minute.
6. Is it a penal offense?
5. Better leave the handcuffs on.
4. For $200 an hour, she better be good!
3. Can you get him to drop his suit?
2. The judge gave her the stiffest one he could.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in law but isn't:
1. Think you can get me off?

Top ten things that sound dirty in golf but aren't!

10. Ah, nuts...my shaft is bent.
9. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker.
7. Look at the size of his putter.
6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more.
5. Mind if I join your threesome?
4. Stand with your back turned and drop it.
3. My hands are so sweaty I can't get a good grip.
2. Nice stroke, but your follow through has a lot to be desired.
And the number 1 thing that sounds dirty in golf but isn't:
1. Hold up...I need to wash my balls first.

Designer of the Body

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible designers of the human body. One: "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints." Two: "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections." Three: "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

THE 10 MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN A WOMAN'S LIFE

1. The Doctor because he says,"Take off your clothes"
2. The Dentist because he says,"Open Wide"
3. The hairdresser because he says,"Do you want it teased or blown"
4. The Milkman because he says,"Do you want it in front or in back?"
5. The Interior Decorator because he says,"Once you have it all in, you'll love it."
6. The Banker because he says,"If you take it out to soon, you'll lose interest"
7. The Police Officer because he says,"Spread 'em"
8. The Mailman because he always delivers his package.
9. The Pilot because he takes off fast and then slows down.
10. The Hunter because he always goes deep in the bush, shoots twice and always eats what he shoots.

Old Woman On Bus

An old woman gets on a bus and sits down. She immediately overhears two Italian men seated near her talking to one another. The one Italian man in particular was telling the other a story. He says "First Emma come. Dena I come. Den, da two asses, de come together. Den I come again. Den, de two asses come together again. Den I come, pee twice, Den I come again." The woman, in outright disgust, tapped the man on the shoulder and stated "Sir, in this country we do not speak publicly about our sex lives". The Italian man replied "lady, I no speak about my sex life, I tella my friend how to spell Mississippi."

Baby Tree

Two tall trees are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. One tree says to the other: "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The other says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands in the sappling. The tall tree says "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies: "It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. That, my friends, is the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in."

TRICK-OR-TREATING vs SEX

Top ten reasons trick or treating is better than sex:

10. Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don't have to compliment the person who gave you candy.
6. Person you're with doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
5. If you get a stomach ache, it won't last 9 months.
4. If you wear your Batman mask, no one thinks you're kinky.
3. Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the next morning.
And the #1 reason trick or treating is better than sex...
1. IF YOU DON'T GET WHAT YOU WANT, YOU CAN ALWAYS GO NEXT DOOR!

Corporate Penises

The Excedrin Penis: It's tthhhhiiiiiiissss big.
The Snickers Penis: It satisfies you.
The Magnavox Penis: Smart. Very Smart.
The Life Call Penis: It's fallen and it can't get up.
The American Express Penis: Don't leave home without it.
The Tootsie Roll Pop Penis: How many licks DOES it take...?
The m&m penis: melts in your mouth, not in your hand
The lucky charms penis: They're magically delicious
The Energizer penis: it keeps going and going
The right guard penis: anything less is uncivilized
The Cambells soup penis: mmm mmm good
The Kix penis: kid tested, mother approved.
The McDonald's penis: over 8 billion served.
The Tombstone penis: what would you like on your penis?
The Ragu penis: comes out chunkier than the rest.
The Cobain penis: it blows itself away.
The All State penis: you're in good hands.
The 7-Up penis: the UN-penis.
The Barq's penis: the one with bite.
The beef penis: it's what's for dinner.
The Bud Lite penis: great taste, less filling.
The Transformers penis: it's more than meets the eye.
The Twizzler penis: it makes mouths happy.
The Sega penis: PENIS!
The Starburst penis: the juice is loose.
The Timex penis: takes a lickin and keeps on.......
The Burger King penis: have it your way
The Flintstone's vitamins penis: 10 million strong and growing
The Wendy's penis: where's the beef?
The Lays penis: Betcha can't eat just one.
The Matthew Sweet penis: 100% fun.
The Little Caesar's penis: Penis!! Penis!!
The Mortal Kombat penis: nothing can prepare you.
The Bounty Penis: The quicker picker-upper.
The Street Fighter II penis: matt, stop, you're getting too good at this.
The Domino's Pizza penis: delivers in 30 min. or less...."
The Rice Krispies penis: what does your penis say to you?
The Extra penis: lasts an extra extra extra long time
The Charmin penis: Don't squeeze the penis!
The Beatles penis: now a quarter smaller than it used to be.
The Oasis penis: thinks it's the Beatles penis.
The Windows '95 penis: If you ask it to do too much, it'll crash.
The Virginia Slims penis: you've come a long way, baby.
The Secret penis: strong enough for a man, ph balanced for a woman.
The Micro Machines penis: a whole world, in the palm of your hand.
The Sanka Penis: Good to the last drop
The Payday Penis: Its almost totally nuts!
The yellow pages penis: Let your fingers do the walkin.
The Reese's penis: How do you eat your penis?
The Beavis penis: Look! it's changing color!